


Antibody

by hauntedpoem



Series: The bait [1]
Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: AU, M/M, Masochism, Ramsay loves his Reek and Reek loves his Ramsay, S&M, acceptance of self, fluff?, inspired by Ichi the killer, masochism and more masochism, they both hate the word |"love"| though
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-03
Updated: 2014-09-06
Packaged: 2018-02-16 00:11:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2248707
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hauntedpoem/pseuds/hauntedpoem
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It’s like a chemical imbalance and I need to supply with a little pain.  The dream within a dream ends abruptly and I am back, back for good whenever I get what I want. I feel so real, so present in the moment. This is not a temporary fix, this is metanoia.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [xiria14](https://archiveofourown.org/users/xiria14/gifts).



> I've always liked the idea of Theon being an incurable masochist who dominates and transforms himself and others through his complete love for pain.Theon needs Ramsay to become what he needs. He can't help it.

He usually ties me up harshly, until the rope chafes the skin on my wrists. The already abused skin burns and with the friction, they soon starts to bleed. I moan, I beg, I chant his name. He is glorious when he looks at me when I am all tied up, gagged and crying. His eyes never leave mine. They are fathomless, impossible to avoid.

(he then starts doing to me all sorts of impossible things that will make your ears bleed)

When he finally deems me worthy enough, he takes off the gagging ball and starts haunting my skin. I feel his breath touching fleetingly my chest. It’s burning, just like the raging blood coursing through my veins.

My mouth is the main attraction, though. He puffs hot air on my lips and wets them with his tongue. I can allow that, since it’s something he loves to do whene we’re alone.

I love everything he does to me. I love his hands on my neck, his teeth on my skin, puncturing it, his fingers inside me, the way he sometimes slaps and hits me. Oh yeah, I can feel the bone crunching.

(the sound of it makes me want to ask him to break them all)

I loved everything. Except when he cut my fingers. Well... I asked him to cut them off. I couldn’t take it anymore. He complied. Four of them are gone. Useless appendages.

My cries are just for show. He grows hard when I pretend to be begging him to stop.

The one that asks the questions isn’t Ramsay. It’s me. I have the answers, a fuzzy mess in my head, so I ask the questions. I search for them deep inside of me and after a good beating I start remembering my name. In the eye of the storm, when he hits and breaks and tears me apart, he is mine, we become one, our wills merge and we are together, forever.

(I am his and he is mine, until I am dead and rotting in the ground, eaten from head to toe by worms, rats and bugs)

When he doesn’t tie me up, he mutes and blinds me. I wear the mask shamelessly. I imagine him, tall, pale and beautiful. He is there, in front of me and even through the darkness I can feel his eyes burning into my flesh, carving it, restructuring it. He creates me, the new man, his Reek.

He molds me until I am not Theon Greyjoy anymore. He has to dig through flesh and bone, clean the filth off of me and then I am reborn.

Sometimes it’s hard. The first time was bloody difficult, if I remember correctly. I asked him to choke me. Instead, he slapped me and wanted to leave. I had to make him do it. He used his hands. I still shudder whenever I remember the warm skin, the clean cut nails, the blue veins rising under his white wrists.

(he pushed viciously until I thought I died and then came back to life)

He made me cum so hard, I couldn’t move for hours. My neck hurt so good. 

The second time was easier. I didn’t want to feel him anymore. Not his hands on my neck... I had other uses for those thick, meaty fingers of his. The rope is an excellent replacement.

He hated it. He said it feels cold, distant.

Waxy and rough, the rope fits perfectly around my neck; such a pretty noose. I like it better like that.

The first time he broke my ribs, he vomited and didn’t want to come back for hours. He said it felt too violent, too brutal. Ramsay is averse to violence, it changes him. But I love what he's become.

(I said: then do it lovingly, baby)

It’s funny, because I don’t believe in love. Never had, never will. He learnt to make me cum harder, though. He pulls and he kicks. No... I don’t think it’s devoid of love anymore. He sometimes looks tired and he cradles me into his arms afterwards. he tries to accept this. Every day, it becomes easier for him to do it. We discover new ways in which our bodies could collect space on this earth.  His eyes look empty of everything else. They are full of me.

(soon, I will be enough)

I always get my fix. I always do, please try to understand. It’s my way of dying. Father once said I’m a “filthy, greedy man-cunt”... Who knows?  I always get what I want. Father is dead now. I wish he could see me now, see what I’ve become.

It’s like a chemical imbalance and I need to supply with a little pain.  The dream within a dream ends abruptly and I am back, back for good whenever I get what I want. I feel so real, so present in the moment. This is not a temporary fix, this is metanoia. All I want is everything, knowing very well that I’m own worst enemy and he’s the accomplice who's going to help me obtain it. I need him like this. He's my monster, I filled him with all my fears.

(Ramsay provides)

He gives me everything. I give him everything. I think he is happy now... Washed away with my sins and covered  in my filth, he smells just like me. Of sex and death.

I never let him fuck me, though. I don’t think I could handle us if I did. It would push us towards a double suicide. When I first told him, he seemed to accept.  And now, even though I crave his hard memeber inside me or in my mouth, he slaps me instead. It’s good... he learnt the lessons for me.

He gives me his fingers though. And his punches. And his hot, full mouth. His eyes turn impossibly big.

(you should see his expression)

He’s enraptured, mesmerized; he can’t take his eyes away. It’s either when he finger-fucks me or after a good beating when I feel we’re most connected. He makes me beg and then ties me up with red and pink ropes that cut inside my veins and reconnect what I’ve once lost. Only when I’m good like that, that’s when he finally lets go. He moans and bites his cheek because he can’t say it. His seed is warm on my skin, like fire. He empties himself into the void. I am the void.

He always makes a mess and then he wants to kiss me. I feel his half-hard member digging into my stomach and I’m glad I didn’t let him inside. I’m still not ready. I have to atone for who I really am.

(Theon Greyjoy’s remains do nothing but hinder me)

He kisses me. I have the most beautiful mouth, he says. It’s ugly like a hell-hole, smeared  with blood and full of broken teeth. Shards. Remains.

He tastes me and can’t get enough. It’s when I feel his fingers inside me again and again that I know for sure that our souls will merge together in hell.

His eyes are so pale, like two opals. He wants to say something but he can’t.

It’s Reek. My name is Reek. Call me your Reek, please.

He can’t say it yet, but he will learn that I am a freak and all that I need is to be tamed.

To become humble and meek.

(he can become anything I need, though)

The blade is cold, it shines with silver and chrome and reflects my disoriented eyes. He’s going to do it. I pushed him, I made him like this. I don’t need it, after all. All I need is pain and I think he understands it now. I want him to cut it, cut it, cut it... Oh, this is my becoming!

He is mine.

(forever and ever and ever, until he rots into the ground)

 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I am his slave and I am his master. I don’t think he likes the idea of it. However… he’s calmed down and he always comes back to me."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for your positive reviews... This is the end of this story. Is it too fluffy? Well... I don't care because this fandom needs more fluff! Yes... I have said it... Thramsay needs more fluff. Ha haha hahaha... I am completely insane!

Did I tell you that I am a mistake?

(oh, well... you should talk to my sister, then)

I am a mistake, a thing that should not be. Not even a man, not even human. I've finally reached my true self. I am nothing, I feel nothing, I have nothing, yet I exist.

I want nothing, except… He's the only flame I'm drawn to. He's my one and only, you should know.

At first, I was scared to take this road. The winding path still seems to be taking me nowhere. I am a slave and yet I don't feel like one.

(at least I am not a slave to my own ego)

I've destroyed myself a long time ago. I've killed everything I was. Now, that the bad man is gone, I had to create a new one. Ramsay is my bad man. I am really tired and broken now, but still, it's good that I can think of something after that beating he gave me. He chose the long whip and he tended a long time to the leather. I still shudder when the cuts in my skin rub on the fabric of my T-shirt. It's criss-crossed with blood, darkened and smells like iron and salt. Today I got twenty one, because it's what the calendar says. I watch him from the bed we share.

(how perfect he is)

I screamed and shouted. It really felt unbearable. What if he decides to whip me in a week from now on? What if…? My mind went halcyon blank. Everything seemed to have quieted down and for a second, I've seen myself going limp, tied as I was, piss on the floor and blood all over my back and Ramsay burying his head in the crook of my neck. He is weightless but he is there. He smells of leather and hay and melted ice. It was surreal.

(I know for sure that it happened)

Today, he took me away. We've seen death together but he didn't let go. I am not human anymore, I've told him through broken teeth and dried lips. He kissed me anyway, he took my breath again and again, then he pushed his hand, down into my void, down into the wound.

(it didn't feel like pain, it just felt like something missing)

The first time he fucked me was a couple of days ago. He could have fucked a corpse, he said. I didn't realize he was mad until he pulled out and went into the shower.

(I think that dominating is actually serving, but Ramsay still doesn't trust himself)

It was good that he left his glass on the nightstand. It makes the most beautiful cuts. What else could I do? I wanted him to do it, we've been waiting for this since forever and now... now he abandons me in the middle of fucking!

I am his slave and I am his master. I don’t think he likes the idea of it. However… he’s calmed down and he always comes back to me. Ramsay is always in my thoughts and in my dreams. We have pictures all over the house but whenever I see him, whenever he’s in the flesh in front of me, I simply get all nervous just like the first time.

He never hides. He takes my mangled hand in public and he fluffs my white blond hair. He says it’s soft and that he likes it like this. I am weak in his arms. He sometimes lifts me up and cradles me and it’s so fun… because I feel like a child again. There’s no memory of anything when I’m with him.

(I am fatherless, an orphan, I have no past with him)

I know people are looking at us and frown. They are disgusted by me, they find me scary or funny or… simply insane. I felt more at ease when I found out he doesn’t give a damn. He looks at me like I’m the only one in the world. His icy eyes erase any unpleasant memory from my mind.

(I am his Reek)

He smiles at me. I smile back, showing my broken teeth. He kisses me in front of everyone now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooooo... comment and say what's on your mind if you please! Hugs to all of you!  
> \--  
> Also, I want to thank yourwastedspace for their wonderful comments!

**Author's Note:**

> This is for xiria14, because she said she likes my short fics and I loved her BDSM fic and the fact that she featured Ramsay as an inoffensive filler character.  
> Writing like this is a bit unusual for me but hopefully, you'll let me know how you feel about it!


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